Solitude

by Carolyn Liu

Image credit: Carolyn Liu



The arrival of COVID-19

brought the departure of mankind, who

retreat to their homes unseen,

beginning the long,

looong,

looooooong,

looooooooooooooong,

                   days of                                       quarantine.

Every day at home,

I

sleep,

and wake,

and turn on my laptop,

clicking on boring quarantine posts on Instagram,

handing in assignments on Blackboard,

sitting on the sofa,

staring at the wall,

and sleeping.


Talkative as I am,

the company of a laptop

is not something I appreciate.


Long have I desperately missed

the human warmth,

the human touch,

the human words.


Immersed in loneliness,

I can only hear my voice,

speaking to myself,

telling me its joy, its pain,

                                                       its deep

                                                                           deep

                                                                                     deep

thoughts,

as if I am a loner,

craving for communication even

with my long-acquainted self.


Wait,

my “acquainted” self?

Never have I heard so clearly

my own feelings and thoughts.

Happiness,

                              sadness,

                                                  anger,

                                                                            fear;

My first time realising

my eternal company,

that I never bothered

to understand.


The following days

I

sleep,

and wake,

writing diaries,

playing the piano,

sitting on the sofa,

doing yoga,

staring at the wall,

reflecting,

and smiling.


Talkative as I am,

the company of a laptop

is not something I appreciate.


But what I appreciate is,

my quality time with myself,

my own self





Solitude.


***





Author Bio: Carolyn is an English major student, as well as a fantasy and short story maniac who is now trying to write poetry. Once frustrated for the lack of human interaction during the pandemic, she eventually learnt to enjoy solitude. She wishes to share her mental journey on this change of attitude through a new try of sincere and relatable poetry, hoping that everyone can enjoy their own company.