Power Word and Phrases
Module 4 * Part 2
Word choice is crucial to the success of a pitch. So, choose your words carefully by referencing some recommendations here.
So, who does this benefit? (7) 1. First, you! (1) You get to (2) have food at the convenience (3) of your own room, and you get to save time! 2. CUHK Restaurants: with more deliveries, there will be incentives (6) for these restaurants to provide more innovative (6) and tasty products. 3. CUHK students: don't we all want to make an extra buck? (5) For many students, since they are on their way to their dorm or classroom anyway, they might as well (3) have some extra pocket money. 4. CUHK: not only (11) does the university receive more traffic in their app, they can also better serve the university community, increasing students and staff members' sense of belonging and satisfaction (6) with the university.
How would this be implemented? (7) The university will pay for the initial app development fee of about HKD$600,000. The app will then be integrated (4) into CUHK's own app. When the app is completed, it will be implemented campus wide (4). Delivery fee would be around $15-20, and multiple orders can be accepted. From order to delivery (9), the process is expected to take about 20-30 mins, as deliverers will utilize (3) the campus bus system (3). Like Uber or other taxi apps, the deliverer's performance can be rated, and there will be a dedicated online method to resolve conflict. A student who does 3 deliveries a day can earn up to $1,500 a month. (10) So what are you waiting for? (8) Support the creation of the CUD app, and have your food delivered to your door right away! (12)
- Use punctuations effectively
- Use words that have connotation of simplicity and directness
- Use words that have connotation of convenience, value and efficiency
- Use words that have connotation of scale and system
- Use words that have connotation of change and desire
- Use positive words
- Use phrases that invite the audience's attention.
- Use standard phrases selectively.
- Use phrases that show range, e.g. "With more [x], there will be...", or "From [x] to [y]..."
- Use phrases that illustrate benefits in concrete terms.
- Use phrases that show multiple benefits, e.g. "Not only does [x], [y] can/will also..."
- Close your speech with a direct message that shows the impact of the audience's support, i.e. how they can be benefited if they act according to your plan.
So, who does this benefit? (7) 1. First, you! (1) You get to (2) have food at the convenience (3) of your own room, and you get to save time! 2. CUHK Restaurants: with more deliveries, there will be incentives (6) for these restaurants to provide more innovative (6) and tasty products. 3. CUHK students: don't we all want to make an extra buck? (5) For many students, since they are on their way to their dorm or classroom anyway, they might as well (3) have some extra pocket money. 4. CUHK: not only (11) does the university receive more traffic in their app, they can also better serve the university community, increasing students and staff members' sense of belonging and satisfaction (6) with the university.
How would this be implemented? (7) The university will pay for the initial app development fee of about HKD$600,000. The app will then be integrated (4) into CUHK's own app. When the app is completed, it will be implemented campus wide (4). Delivery fee would be around $15-20, and multiple orders can be accepted. From order to delivery (9), the process is expected to take about 20-30 mins, as deliverers will utilize (3) the campus bus system (3). Like Uber or other taxi apps, the deliverer's performance can be rated, and there will be a dedicated online method to resolve conflict. A student who does 3 deliveries a day can earn up to $1,500 a month. (10) So what are you waiting for? (8) Support the creation of the CUD app, and have your food delivered to your door right away! (12)