Image credit: Stephanie Studzinski

I had a dream

I threw the piece of paper

—that important piece of paper—

you almost didn’t write

that I had cherished

(despite my doubts)

under a bridge in the park.

You know it—

the grey, twisting Cinderella bridge

we walked over and over

in those meandering days.

I ran ahead of you then,

to the far edge

(almost to the other side)

and I dropped it.

That piece of paper

that I tore through

when I opened the mail.

I watched it spiral down

and change color

as the water closed

its fist around it

claiming it

and it became the clump

wet paper always becomes.

Watching this

I felt a pang of regret.

But I also knew:

This was right.

I glanced behind me

and finding you out of sight

I chased it down the river

watched it glide over the rocks

swirl delicately through the eddies.

Childishly, I grew excited by its journey.

(something I had just started)

Still running, I turned to discover

you

casually stepping through the trees

softly

unaware—perhaps

walking stick in hand

smiling

and edging closer…

I woke up relieved.

(You will never catch me)

Not now

***




Author Bio: Stephanie Studzinski is a final year PhD student who has been researching the speculative ecofiction of Sheri S. Tepper and its relationship to contemporary ecological contexts. Stephanie has a MSc in Literature & Modernity from the University of Edinburgh and a BA from Youngstown State University. More about her research, creative writing and its intersections can be found at elucious.com.